Traits of Typical DominantsAgain, there is nothing typically identifying about being a dominant or submissive in most situations. That being said, certain traits and desires will come out in the bedroom and make it clear that a person heavily prefers one way or another, and that is the sort of thing you need to look for. Many bondage tips will tell you the same thing, so it’s best to try a session, or think about what turns you on the most before you go into one, and that will make it much easier for you to figure out where your preferences exactly lie.
Most dominants in the bedroom have a desire to control their partners – and yes, this usually means that they are the ones tying their partners up. They have a need to be in charge of the situation and give orders to their submissive partner, and these can be either sexual orders or otherwise. There are many different ways to exert dominance in the bedroom, and this doesn’t just have to be through penetrative sex or anything related to sex at all, actually. You might feel the need to make your submissive partner sit on the floor and rub your feet for hours while you read a book. That sort of control and the ability to make your partner obey will be what turns you on. With these kinds of tendencies, it’s safe to say that you would be considered a dominant, and want to be the one in charge of your partner in the bedroom.
Traits of Typical Submissives
Submissives in the bedroom are actually the ones who call all the shots. Even if they are the one that usually takes and receives whatever their dominant partner has to offer, that doesn’t mean that they aren’t in control. They are the ones who determine the situation, or at the very least, approve or disapprove of what their dominant half has in store for them. Submissives want things to happen to them, and they want to please and serve their dominant halves. In general, they are the ones tied up in bondage situations, and every single bondage tip site is going to make that clear to you.
Submissives have a desire to serve and to take orders, and that includes serving their partner sexually as well as in other ways. Depending on the situation at hand, you, as a submissive partner, might find yourself simply doing all the cleaning that day, or you might find yourself being told to act as a dildo for your partner. Whatever the case may be; the desire to serve and to essentially be bossed around is a trait that will definitely label you as a submissive in the eyes of the BDSM community.
The Responsibilities of Both Dominants and SubmissivesThere are many different responsibilities that come with being either a dominant person or submissive person in the bedroom. While bondage tip sites might attempt to dissolve some of the mystery surrounding these responsibilities, you might find yourself still feeling somewhat overwhelmed by it all. That’s fine, and it just means that you need to explore more about your own sexual situation and figure out what exactly will be expected of you in sexual situations where these terms are well-known.
As a dominant, you will be expected to be able to care for and please your submissive. While many people try and make Dom/sub situations all about the submissive partner pleasing their dominant half, that isn’t the case at all. The Dominant might be in charge of the situation, but they are not the ones planning the scenario. Everything should be centered on their submissive, and it is up to the Dominant to make sure that their submissive has everything that they need to be comfortable, safe, and happy in their situation. You are in charge of their emotions, more or less, and having that kind of responsibility is a kind of trust that you must earn through practice and ability to police a scenario properly.
As a submissive, you are in charge of the actual scenario. While your dominant half might come up with an idea, you have the power to agree or disagree as to whether or not such a thing actually happens. You are the one that is primarily in charge of the fantasy, because it is all about your consent and comfort. If you do not feel comfortable in a situation or acting out a scenario, none of it needs to happen in the slightest. You are the one that has the power to make something stop entirely with the mere utterance of your safe word, and that is why you need to take the time to decide what it is you really want out of a scenario before diving in headfirst. Remember, that kind of power shouldn’t be used lightly, and you should know what you want out of something before you flat out ask for it, otherwise you will find yourself and your dominant in a frustrating situation.
Being Dominant and Submissive Isn’t Set in StoneIn the world of bondage, there are some fluid persons out there who enjoy being dominant one day and submissive the other. These are called switches, and they are more common than you might suspect. It all depends on a person’s mood, and you might find yourself craving one kind of sex or scenario from one day to the next. This is completely normal, and many people enjoy this kind of lifestyle when they are involved in bondage.
In general, there are many different kinds of ways to enjoy sex, and being dominant, submissive, or even a switch are just some of those types. You are not obligated to stay in any one role for any extended period of time, so if you still aren’t entirely sure about what you are or what your preferences are, try out a few scenarios and see what really calls to you. If you end up feeling uncomfortable during any of them, that’s what a safe word is for, and you can always end the scenario itself and try something else again later. So long as your situation is fun, safe, and consensual, there is absolutely nothing to fear about experimentation, and that’s what the world of bondage is all about anyway. It’s a healthy expression that you should be able to happily explore.